So many are saying Where is God when I need him? Especially today. Many feel deserted and alone. But it is only that we have been looking in the wrong direction, searching everywhere but at home. The surprising answer to the question tells us instead, that all we need is right here with us in our everyday life. In fact it is right at the kitchen table. It is only that we have been looking elsewhere, searching all around. These episodes offer specific ways in which we can encounter God, fulfillment, enlightenment right here in our daily lives, wherever we go.
We are driven by the need to be right, not wrong. And many of the conflicts in our relationships are caused by this, as well. When a difference of any kind arises, we immediately insist that we are right, the other is wrong. These labels cover the larger truth of the matter, as we enter into conflict, anger and often loss. There is another way to handle this. Realize that we are all both right and wrong all the time. And that both can also be right at the same time. Give up these labels and learn to truly listen to the person you are with. And to yourself as well. As we give space to ourselves, listen to all that is going on, a larger point of view arises, along with compassion. We also see the real person who is in front of us, what they need and are trying to say. So: Let The Other Be Right. You can always be right later. Make space for the other to express themselves without opposition. And make space for you to do that as well. This is the basis of all true relationships and of a friendship that can only grow and grow.
Good morning. Good morning. It's Brenda Ashin Shoshana back with another episode of Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life. And um I've been haven't been able to do these as regularly, so I just want to let everyone know that I am going to be putting up replays of my six years of this podcast probably every week on Substack.com. It's free and it's available. So you're most welcome to also to listen to those again. There are many, many of them there. And the um it's called ZenBybrenda at Substack.com, or you just go to Substack.com and look for Zen by Brenda. And those uh the podcasts, the years and years of podcasts, six years now, will be put up there too. Um so uh but today, today I have I will do them personally, but maybe not every week. But um anyway, that's the best place to find me right now. Um so what I would like to talk about today is very interesting title, What's wrong with being wrong? What's wrong with being wrong? And actually, what's right about being right? We're so in the grip of right and wrong. This person's right, this one's wrong, this book is wrong, it's right. I was listening uh to a talk the other night, and they said I lost all my faith because I saw that the book was not right. There are parts of it that were wrong. Interesting, isn't it? This didn't match with that, and on and on and on. We are so run and dominated by the fear of making a mistake or a big mistake, being wrong, doing something wrong. And we'll fight and fight with people so much just to prove that I'm right, you're wrong. If there's a if there's a difference of opinion. I'm right, you're wrong. Now, you know, that could be I wanted to talk about it because that is actually at the root, the core of so much conflict and excuse me, and so much struggle in our relationships and in life itself. It's impossible for both to be right at the same time and to have two very different points of view. Isn't that interesting? Why should that be impossible? Why can't every person be right as they are at the moment? Now you might say, well, that's ridiculous because they may be doing something very harmful. How is that right? I'm not saying that's right. It's one thing to take action that's very harmful, of course. We want to put an end to that. We want to stop harm. Actually, that is one of the main points of sitting of Zen practice, to eliminate suffering, to f to root out the causes of suffering, to discover them, to look at them. And we start with ourselves. We don't we start with what's going on inside us, the suffering that we undergo and that we cause others to undergo unwittingly, maybe not not consciously, not purposely, but as part of the patterns that we are running and playing. Part of the programs and the ideas that we hold dear, such as only one of us can be right if there's a difference of opinion. And of course, we can see this unfortunate belief being played out all over the world now. And and and the price that it's taking. It's very, very, very difficult to live in that way because, first of all, you don't even know what's right and wrong when you're in that state of mind. You're in a state of battle, of opposition, of fear that you'll be the wrong one. You're in a state of tension. It's not a state of clarity, not a state of compassion. There are different, it's all our own states of mind. That's what Zen works with, our own different states of mind, and we work with our own state of mind. And the beautiful, the beautiful thing is that as we clear up our own confusion and our own wish to be right, and somebody else has to be wrong then, and to dominate others in that way, once we see it, see it, we it it goes away, we let it go. This is a practice of seeing things clearly, and as we bring light to the darkness, the darkness, it just goes away. These beliefs, these patterns, this confusion, it dissolves as we bring the light of awareness and of clarity. So rather than get caught up in these beliefs and in these fears and in these the ways in which we are dominated by our own beliefs and the ways in which we dominate others, as we as we get free of that, a new world opens up. It's a very beautiful world. It's such a spacious world. It's a world where everybody has the right to walk, to breathe, to say what they need to say, to believe what they believe. It's not personal, it's not against us. They're just being who they are. You know, it's we might be wrong one moment or right the next if you're looking at it through those eyes. Nothing remains. We learn, we grow, we we make mistakes. Dogin Zenji said life is one continuous mistake. I love that. What does he mean? He means life can become one continuous illusion after another. Dream. Not really seeing the person who is right in front of us, just labels. I'm better than him, he's right, he's wrong, he's this, he's that, I'm that, I'm this. We're living in a world of labels. We just see the label, we don't see the breathing, living, hurting sometimes, feeling person standing, and we don't see their beauty either. Because when we let all those labels go, as they go by, and they just do go when we see them for what they are, and when we see the very dangerous effect they have upon the world and upon us, we see it thoroughly and then they they leave. They leave. And what is left is a very beautiful life and a very beautiful person standing there. Years ago, So and Roshi said to me, Come to me naked. And I thought, oh my of course he didn't mean physically naked, but what naked? Naked of what? Of your games, of your masks. He didn't say that, but I over the you know, his end masters never tell you in words, the good ones, the real ones. The rest of us are just speakers. Speakers. But he was different. He lived he lived the practice. So he would never just answer in a concept. But naked, and and I sit with that, with that instruction, and it unfolds by itself, and he meant naked of labels. See, I'm I'm doing what he would never do. Yak, yak, yak, talking, talking, explaining. That's not zen. That's really not zen practice to accumulate a lot of ideas about something. It's to be really in a moment so fully with your own experience, and then inevitably you will be there so fully with the experience of another, their feeling, who they are. And when you're when you're naked, when you're free of opinions about them, judgments, labels, the whole thing. Just open awareness. It's very, it's really that is an act of love towards the world and towards others and yourself. And what is revealed in that state of mind is something very, very, very different from the way we usually live, which is in opposition, in conflict to others, and even to ourselves, especially to ourselves. You know, we do to others what we do to ourselves. We project it out. And all that conflict and opposition to ourselves, one thought, another thought, one moment I want this, I want that, I think this, I think that, all the different confusions inside of us. So that's very wonderful as we sit just to see that, see it over and over again, experience it again and again, and then it it leaves, it leaves. Takes time, but sometimes there's a moment when you really see it more deeply and a lot leaves. It's not about how long it's going to take or how much, but every single sitting is a powerful, beautiful sitting. Even a sitting filled with upset confusion and fe whatever it's filled with, it's a it's a beautiful sitting. It's just because we're doing the practice and we're growing, and even though we are not consciously aware of it, a lot is a lot of pain and a lot of confusion is leaving by itself. By itself. It's not us. Who is the doer here? Who's creating this confusion and who is letting it go? That's a wonderful ko on. Very wonderful ko on. Which means no answers. You take it and you live with it and you get your own answers. It's a very powerful ko on. Who is creating all of this that's going on inside you? You might say, Well, it's me. Well, look keep looking. Keep looking. Are you are consciously creating all this conflict and upset? Just look at where it's coming from. What's the source of it? And what is causing it to leave? Very wonderful, wonderful ko on. Step back a bit. Step back a bit and just watch it. Look at it. See life itself unfold, see your own inner life unfold by itself. Yeah, then another part of that call on is who is breathing? Who? Where where does the breath coming from? Who is breathing in and who is breathing out? Same thing, same co same ko on. It's a wonderful ko on. Where are these thoughts coming from? Who's creating them and who's and what is causing them to leave? When all of these thoughts and along with them of course come feelings, strong feelings. When they leave, when they subside, when they change on their own, on their own. Watch them do so. Then something else has room to arise. Something else, another way of being, another way of seeing, another way of listening. And it's very, very, very beneficial and very nourishing. Say you're in an interaction and you see a person behaving in a certain way, and you get into that, you're wrong, I'm right, blah, blah, blah. Say that happens. You can stop a moment. This is Zazen off the cushion. You can stop a moment and say, I'm gonna just let him be right. I can be right later. Let myself be wrong. He says, You're wrong, you're wrong. Just let yourself be wrong a moment. You can be right later. Give the person a chance. Give them some space to just be without the right and the wrong. And if you're having feelings and responses to them, just watch your own feelings and responses without jumping into that tangled web, which is a very good way to describe it. A tangled web of right and wrong, good and bad. I love you, I hate you, all of that. It's a tangled web that goes back and forth and back and forth. So I really thank you for listening. It's lovely to be talking with you. As I said, you can find the podcasts, the old ones, and there are six years, six years of them, so there are many, which I will post up there little by little, week by week, on substack.coms and Zen by Brenda is the name of my newsletter there, and it includes podcasts. So I'll be back again and thank you for listening and have a wonderful day. The um URL for this podcast is um www.zenwisdomtoday.com. Okay. Thank you. And my email, if you need to reach me, is topspeaker at yahoo.com. Bye bye.
